That Thursday, I played video games for about three hours. I’d hoped that this would feel like a weekend every day, but every day just felt like a workday, with less responsibility. Even in my temporary freedom, I’m spending most of this time alone. That’s a big part of why this week is so hit or miss. I also find myself thinking about how much more fun this would have been if my friends were playing with me. But more so, I just feel like I’ve wasted a day – I feel unproductive, lazy useless, even. I think this fuels a little bit of the guilt I feel as that day ends. I’m not on a 996 schedule like a tech worker in China who’s expected to work 12 hours a day, six days a week, or picking strawberries in the sun for a dollar per carton. There is nobody breathing down my neck at work, making sure I meet some sort of daily quota. I wince a little when Alan said the words “lazy person.” By his standards, I am definitely a lazy person. It feels good to be something other than a work robot for once. Working full-time, your life gets monotonous. Even though I walked out of the class with two aching hamstrings and a bruised ego, I’m just glad to be trying something different. By 4PM I’ve uploaded that week’s episode of VICE News Reports for tomorrow, and all my other work-related tasks are in order. I just can’t put work out of my mind and be present in the moment.Īfter finishing the dance session, I head to a coffee shop to wrap up the day. After about an hour of training I’m able to complete one full 360 turn before almost stumbling into the glass, but I find it impossible not to check my phone periodically and respond to emails and Slacks. I’m fighting for my life and the dance class hasn’t even started.Įmily is a model of patience as we practice turns and other dance steps. But we go ahead anyway, and Emily starts ritualistically tearing apart my calves, shoulders and hamstrings with her stretching system. This triggers my flight or flight instinct – I have the flexibility of a silent film mummy and I cant stand letting people know that I’m not good at literally everything. When I show up, Emily tells me we were going to spend the first 20 minutes of the class stretching. I was presented with the golden opportunity to do whatever I wanted in the whole world and the best that my cloudy, burned-out brain could muster was a few clean dishes and a mopped floor. I go to bed that night feeling a bit more rested and a little guilty. But for the most part, everyone left me alone. I keep my phone close to me to make sure I could respond to any Slacks or emails that I got. It makes me feel small-minded and boring. I could have done anything I wanted, but I decided on taking out the trash and cleaning the litter box. It felt amazing, but I also feel kind of guilty. I end up power cleaning my house for three hours and even have time to play with my cat a little bit. I take a shower, I brush my teeth, I clean the dishes and wash the floors. About an hour or so later, I’m free again. The interview is good but it also drags on longer than it needs to. He’s got an interviewee on the phone and he wants me to join: “You around?” Mack asks. My stomach sinks.įor a brief moment I think about skipping out on the call, telling Mack he needs to handle it. Almost immediately, my colleague Mack pings me on Slack.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |